At the start of Foreyule 1343, eight eager hobbits converged on The Three Pigs pub in Kings Worthy for a flagon or two of ale and a catch up on gossip. Falco stood for the first round of drinks and was proud to announce the arrival of his firstborn baby: Ruby Wilberforce. Mungo shared parts of his latest letter from Miss Lily which mentioned rumours of goblins near the Three Farthing Stone and the possibility of an older Four Farthing marker. Mungo was so eager to explore this idea that he almost missed her mention of friendship with the Brandybucks and Bagginses. She also alerted them to hostility from one of the old Tooks, which puzzled both Hackenbottoms as they’d not heard that story from Grandad Otto. Goboduc was too enamoured of his coming wedding to Miss Primula to pay attention to much of anything else. Edgar was also due a wedding but regarded planning details as someone else’s problem.
The companions decided that a batchelor party would be necessary and successfully secured use of the back room from their host. Alas, Goodman Jubbs had to warn them that his extra barrel of ale was off and would have to be tipped away. They consulted their summer hike tasting notes and decided that the nearest acceptable brew was located at Stowply, just past High Hay Hall. They did not send Edgar to fetch this. Falco haggled admirably and trundled back in time to allow the cask to settle before the celebration. Edgar and Marroc provided lively music and Mungo restrained himself to respectable reminiscing in his best man’s speech. Gorboduc decided that he could maybe get a little bit drunk on this occasion and his friends ensured that this was so. Falco slipped a little something into the barrel which turned everyone’s tongues blue, but by this stage they couldn’t tell whether it affected the taste of the ale at all.
Around 1am a besotted Gorby decided that he absolutely had to find the most perfectest present ever for his beloved bride. As all respectable shops and smials were slumbering his options were few. Sight of Dame Jowett’s beloved cat prowling atop rooftops gave Marroc the inspiration: kittens! Everone agreed that a white kitten would be perfect, but who might have any? Edgar confidently set off and returned an hour later with a cute piglet rolled in chalk. This earned a hard eye-roll from his cousin. Tobold, of course, knew exactly which family had kittens ready for rehoming, but herding his friends to the correct backyard in the dark was difficult. Rather than disturb the family they decided to burglarise the kitten away but, being honest, to leave a generous payment for it. All went mostly well as Marroc and Isenbold snuck in and extracted the kitten, but their clean getaway was foiled by the crash of Edgar arriving with his piglet. They abandoned him to his fate.
The following morning dawned and everyone roused to get ready for the wedding. A basket and pretty ribbon were found for the kitten, and a dishevelled Edgar (plus pig) retrieved from the town lockup. The Sherriff dispatched a formal complaint to Edgar’s father, again. The eager groom and the bridal parties converged on the town hall where Dame Jowett recorded the happy couple’s names, witnesses, dowries, land transfers and other agreed arrangements into the town’s geneological record and the happy couple exchanged vows. Everyone paraded back to stonemasons’ yard for the serious business of a celebratory feast under the white awnings and pale silk flowers. Mungo delivered a finely judged speech steering close to mentions of scandals in Gorboduc’s youth but keeping matters light and laughable. Marroc noticed that the Shelltoe elders looked decidedly uneasy at certain parts of the speech.
The dancing began and Gorboduc expertly whirled his new wife around the floor just as the first snowfall of winter started to drift down. Isenbold coaxed Poppy Dibbs out onto the floor and Edgar steered a hungover Bella through a set. Halfred failed badly to keep time for a dance with Marigold and eventually slunk back to the dessert table after Tobold cut in to help Marigold enjoy the dancing. While their elders danced lots of youngsters darted around underfoot gathering up the first snow for a small snowball fight. Gorboduc recognised several of their bridesmaid and pageboy hobbit children from Moseby village, who had been relocated there by the Dibbs family after a quarry disaster at Brockenbores. Marroc unwisely demonstrated his snowballing skills to them and was promptly pummelled by return snowballs. He was rescued by the lovely Miss Begonia Snugden who remembered him from the Spring Fair and they renewed their affections.
Eventually Gorboduc and Primula decided to ‘retire’ for the night. Primula lobbed her bouquet of white flowers forcefully into the throng of dancers, aiming for her sister Poppy but unfortunately hitting her new Mother-in-law instead, knocking her out. In the scramble there were several tables overset and much sound of smashing crockery as they drove off. Into this mess Miss Lily Baxter finally arrived, having been delayed on the road; “Did I miss anything?” The Arwrights family band started playing music fast and loud. A memorable night was had or so the survivors reported.
The snow kept falling all month so by Yuletide it was a well-bundled group of hobbits that trudged through the snow to witness little Ruby’s official naming day at the town hall. As was traditional the families blessed their new arrival with a daub of milk and honey on her forehead and many well-wishes for her future. Records were updated. Suddenly this happy little ceremony was interrupted by a hammering on the door; “Waiken! Rescue party!” Looming outside was a huge, ice-encrusted dwarf looking alarmingly agitated. “Bifin son of Bifur son of Bafet, not at ya service. In a hurry. Git ya elders! Wee’uns need a-rescuing!” Dame Jowett began to haul on the rope of an alarm bell set high in the roof. As counsellors and bounders gathered the friends decided to stay and eavesdrop.
Their unexpected visitor more clearly explained that a group of hobbit children had been found high in the snowy moors to the northwest, hiding from a Yulpukki and urgently needing help. The elders were concerned but were acutely aware that a severe blizzard was due to sweep in and advised that a delay would be wise. Bifin began to get extremely cross and gruff at this. The younger hobbits decided to step in to smooth things over, partly by providing a courteous ‘interpretation’ of Bifin’s comments, but mostly by volunteering to form the rescue party themselves. The town counsel agreed and generously offered whatever equipment and supplies might be needed. The group tooled up and checked maps and anything in the town library that mentioned a ‘yulpukki’. Old lore books described this creature as some some sort of malicious winter goat-man. They added extra arrows to their supplies on the sleds.
Under lowering skies the rescue party set off up the north road, mostly following behind Bifin as he ploughed a path through deep snow. After a few hours they struggled up to the main junction and were startled to meet an elderly bigfoot contemplating the signpost. Noting that this gentleman had a pointy hat they approached most courteously, although Isenbold kept his bow handy. A cautious exchange of pleasantries ensued but the stranger refused to give them his name, allowing only that he might be referred to as the ‘pale wizard’. He accepted a swig of mead and declared it ‘very good indeed’. He declined to join the rescue but did gift them with a leaf-wrapped packet of ‘special bread’ if their youngsters were found especially pale and chill. Enhearted, the party turned eastwards and pushed on despite the fact that it started to snow heavily again.
The day wore on. Halfred managed to safely steer them past dangerous black ice, but their spirits dropped again when a flock of frozen birds fell dead out of the sky nearby. They all started to get tired and the snow-laden wind was picking up. Eventually Bifin signalled that they needed to turn off the road and head up into the high moors. Marroc roped everyone together and they set off into really difficult terrain. Everyone became exhausted on the climb and, by the time they stumbled through the snowdrifts and into a sheltering cave, Edgar was in a bad way. Inside the cave was another dwarf and five shivering hobbit children. The dwarf Bifog, Bifin’s brother, had lit a small fire and this, along with some lembas bread, did much to restore the kids and Edgar. The hobbits were surprised to recognise the children: these were the Moseby kids from Gorboduc and Primula’s wedding. They set guards and sheltered while the blizzard blew through.
While they waited Gorboduc set to raise the childrens spirits by turning it all into a storybook adventure. It seemed to enhearten everyone. Mungo and Marroc chatted to the kids a bit more and got their story out of them. Apparently they had been worried by the scary monster for some time and had gone on this badly-timed search to make sure that it hadn’t followed them up to Moseby moors. None of their parents believed in the Yulpukki but the children did and many have glimpsed it. They promised not to look for it any more. Eventually Mungo realised that they’re not just talking about a scary monster, but a monster from Scarey. Halfred recognised this as a village near the quarries of East Farthing, and Gorboduc recollected Primula talking about the families moving away from a collapsed quarry in the Brockenbores.
Some hours later the blizzard subsided and the hobbits emerged to see a smooth white landscape under the clear light of sunset. Marroc was surprised to recognise the hills and dales as the lands north of Sykes near his home smial, indeed Dumblebee was visible in the distance. They had travelled further east than he expected. Consulting with the dwarves Marroc pointed out the fastest way down by toboggan, noting (from experience) that the trick was to gather enough speed to clear the roadside ditches. The party divided themselves between the four sleds and each set off, successfully navigating their way down at high speed and finally skidding to a halt in the Dumblebee meadows. Marroc hammered on their front door which was opened by his mum, appalled that they had been out in such weather. They were ushered quickly inside to a warm, cosy smial noted for its steady temperature and a subliminal hum from the hives in the walls.
Some days later, after thoroughly recovering, the party took advantage of a break in the weather to get the kids home, happily clutching their Yule gifts of various dwarven toys and musical instruments. They parted on very good terms with the dwarves who were returning to the Blue Mountains with news from their father and plans to rebuild their kingdom. Back at Kings Worthy the adult hobbits debriefed to the town counsel and subsequently discovered an increase in their respectability. Isenbold consulted with Poppy to draw up a sketch of the yulpukki from the children’s descriptions. This was circulated among the North Farthing bounders to be on lookout.
One month later the families gathered again in the snow for the wedding of Edgar Arkwright to Belladonna Noakes. The batchelor party was surprisingly respectable as Edgar, for once, didn’t wish to awaken with a hangover. The groom and his supporters arrived smartly on time at the town hall to find themselves waiting, and waiting. An urgent message from Mungo initiated a search party for his missing sister and her hen party. They were eventually discovered amid the wreckage of a milliner’s wokshop sound asleep. Chalky was left in the workshop to take the blame. Some rapid hangover remedies got the bride’s party back on track although Miss Lilly, on her first ever bender, struggled to recover. Legalities were seen to by the parents and the dazed couple repeated vows on cue. Everyone headed over the the reception hosted by the Noakes in their coopers’ yard where there was certainly plentiful timber for warming bonfires all around.
Mungo produced an exceptional best man’s speech that spared neither Edgar nor his sister’s blushes. The families combined to create an unusually large band for music and dancing, although someone had managed to detune many of the instruments. The musicians decided to lean into this dissonance. Half the Noakes family simply did not notice. The rest of the audience decided to drink a lot more. The party eventually gained the distinction of receiving the most noise complaints ever recorded. Dancing went on into the small hours and Mungo managed to introduce a subdued Lily to his happy mama. Marroc excused himself from the warm company of Begonia momentarily to ‘borrow’ a splendid ring from his obnoxious great-aunt and pass it over to Isenbold just before the bridal couple retired for the night. Bella successfully threw her bouquet to Poppy so Isenbold, suitably primed, went on one knee to propose. Poppy said yes! The band struck up a lively reel before ending the occasion with a new song: ‘The Adventures of Chalky the Pig’.
