As the summer of 1345 lengthened into those long balmy days of Forelithe, such gentlemen hobbits as could escape their duties gathered in the Old Harp Tavern to plan a long-awaited summer hike. Although sadly missing Masters Edgar Arkwright and Marroc Noakes, their numbers were made up by the adventurous Marigold (now Goodwife Hackenbottom) and Miss Angelica Swayle who was venturing outside her home village for the first time at Gorboduc’s persuasion. The stated aim of the expedition was to escort Tobold and Angelica to the dwarven smithy trials at the Free Fair by Mid-year, but visits to relatives and other side excursions were anticipated. They plotted routes on maps and hired an amiable pack pony to carry provisions and tents. They were, they all felt, getting pretty good at these quest thingys.
Their first two days on the road were easy strolls, taking rooms at the Bag ‘o Nuts in Oatbarton and the Shepherds Rest in Slap Holt for the nights. They sheltered from one summer downpour and cooked up a feast from fungi foraged along the way. They’d heard stories that such mushroom rings were fairy portals, but for some reason none had ever survived long enough in the Shire to become active. On the third day, just about lunchtime, they reached the old clapper bridge over the river Ninny and paused to picnic. Mungo explained that ‘Ninny’ was the elven word for water, so “the Water of the river Ninny” just meant ‘water of water water’. The other hobbits accepted his scholarship in good humour.
After a satisfying repast they set out to search for possible sites of the original Four Farthing boundary point as this seemed to be the cause of a goblin incursion. They had already identified one of the bridge spans as a repurposed boundary stone on an earlier trip, so Isenbold and Gorboduc waded underneath the bridge to scrape and poke at the overgrowth there. Before long they had uncovered deep engravings on two granite slabs acting as spans, and eventually found a third under the ferns functioning as a pier. Each was covered in primitive swirls, spirals, rings, diamonds and zigzags ― and one had an intriguing splay of rays from a central point. They copied everything down as accurately as they could. Their best guess was that these could have been some sort of map with sundial. They had a thorough search for the original site of these stones but eventually concluded that their river had wandered all over this valley through the centuries and that the site was long since eroded into oblivion. They packed up and moved down to the causeway and on to Bywater.
At the Green Dragon Inn they took rooms and enjoyed flagons of Goodman Brown‘s finest ale while catching up on gossip with the locals. Opinion in the tap room was that Bilbo had gone a bit odd lately and had a few too many strange guests. Rumour was that he had invited an army of dwarven folk to invade the Shire and take it over! Tobold, Falco and Gorboduc decided to slip out the back and pay a courtesy visit to Bilbo to see how he was faring. Despite the late hour Bilbo was pleased to see them and invited them all inside to toast their toes by his fireside and finish off a fine bottle of Old Winyard. He admitted that he had been meeting a lot of dwarves lately to arrange various matters pertaining to the smithying trials, but the invasion story was “pure tosh! Dwarves wear armour as casually as hobbits wear dressing gowns.” Tobold gained an outline of arrangements for the Free Fair but not a hint of the trials themselves, which Bilbo said were most secret. Gorboduc shared pictures of the stone engravings and these had Bilbo mystified. He thought maybe the old library at Rivendell might have something, but apparently that was quite a long way east.
The next day they set off for Tuckborough and turned off the causeway down South Lane. While they strolled along both Hackenbottoms debated using a false name while poking about for treasure in Took country. After some discussion they decided on the name of ‘Underbridge’; traders from Oatbarton. By lunchtime the lane met Stock Road and our party of hobbits turned right to start the gentle climb up into the hills of Tuckborough. Since there was no tavern in sight they paused for a picnic atop the first hill and admired the views back across the Yale towards the east. Falco spotted a faint line or depression in the pastures and tilled fields in the distance which might be the remains of an old north road which no longer existed. Might it have been diverted to Waymeet long ago? Tobold observed that would make it harder for any invading army to travel north. The hobbits agreed that it was a very good thing that no armies ever come up from Sarn Ford.
They trotted on down from the hills into Tuckborough, the largest village in Tookland and the one counting more Hobbit-holes than any in the entire Shire. It was here that Great Smials stood, the many-tunnelled mansion of the Took clan, dug three centuries ago at the time of Isengrim the Second. Prosperous cottages and smials surrounded a greensward and a large inn called The Jack in the Green. The green was a very fine picnicking meadow, far too beautiful to have had grazing animals on it for many a year past. The inn looked very busy and the field had many local families gathering around it, but the middle of the lawn was kept clear by ropes. Halfred and Marigold went off to find stabling for the pony while everyone else gravitated towards the inn for a taste of their powerfully hopped, full flavour ale. Our party were aware that for the past 6 years the head of the Tooks had been Fortinbras Took II, twenty-ninth Thain of the Shire. They were less familiar with whatever event had gathered the crowd, but a scan of nearby posters revealed that this was the annual Knighthood competition, open to all Commoners!
Chatting courteously with locals, they learned that The Knighthood competition was a unique bowls contest held there every summer when ordinary hobbits (gentlemen commoners) competed to obtain 7 points, with the winner being awarded the title of "Knight-of-the-green" and becoming a sir (in lower case). The competition would be adjudicated by bowlers who had previously won the competition (Knights), who wore tricorn hats and frocked tailcoats. Those who won were excluded from future Knighthood competitions. The competition ran for several days (usually between three and seven days) and started the day before. The front-runners were Emme Bulger, Herbert Hornblower, Wilf Chubb, Phil Boffin, Freddi Banks, Bunty Whitefoot, Nicki Lightoes and Lambert Diggle. All from well-off families with leisure time, they noted.
As tiffin finished an elder stepped forward and vigorously rang his brass handbell. “Oyez, Oyez, Oyez! Hear ye this. The time is 3 hours after High Noon. Under the auspices of Thain Fortinbras Took the 2nd, the occasion of the 874th Knighthood Competition at the oldest bowling green in the world is about to commence. Gentlehobbit Commoners and Knights, please receive the Knight in Charge accompanied by the Master of the Old Green, The Mayor, The Sherriffs, Counsellors and the attendant Knights in the accustomed manner.” The doors of the Great Smial opened and the Thain led out a procession of hobbits in green frock coats towards the roped off square of turf. The Knights appeared in twos, removing their tricorn hats as they stepped onto the green. The Thain welcomed his distinguished guests and all spectators prior to wishing the Gentlemen Commoners good luck and handing the green over to the Senior Knight by giving him the measuring stick and the jack. By this point, our North Farthing hobbits were no longer sure whether they were witnessing a parody of some kind or a serious ceremony. After thanking the Thain, the Senior Knight addressed the “Gentlehobbit Commoners” and placed the bowls mat where he chose and invited Commoners onto the green to commence the competition.
While bowling began in earnest the northern hobbits circulated to see if they could find any more clues. The message Grandad Otto had given them was:
They inspected the bowling green: a smooth, neatly trimmed expanse of velvet turf with not a weed nor molehill in sight. Clearly beloved and maintained by gardeners; this lawn was no grazing pasture. It must surely be the ‘flattened ground’, they felt, but had it ever been dug in living memory? Falco and Tobold enquired about its history from some of the tipsy elderly ‘knights’ and were plied with both drinks and a great deal of information on the game and its history. But in short no, the ground hadn’t been dug or returfed in living memory. A convivial afternoon was spent and Mungo concluded that this was a game of stamina, with points going to those who could still bowl in a straight line after so much ale. Gorboduc had a quick try out as an interested visitor and did not disgrace himself. They concluded that there was little they could do with hundreds of revellers milling around.
That evening they tried to get rooms at The Jack, but it was fully booked so they had to pitch tents in a nearby paddock instead. During the long, warm summer evening they examined the pub and other nearby places for some sort of hollow where a “bring ’em near” or telescope might be concealed. Halfred opined that their clue might be near but not under the green. Tobold ambled up a nearby hill to examine a weathercock on a pole and made elaborate plans to remove sections of it undetected. The others enjoyed the festive atmosphere and convivial gathering around the inn, especially Halfred and Marigold who appreciated not being part of the tavern staff for a change. However Falco decided to turn in and have an early night.
Very, very early the next morning, as dawn was breaking on that long summer day, Falco was up and about. He took a quiet wander around the village. There were very few signs of life at such an early hour: gentle snoring from some of the other tents, some promising smells from the bakery, a curious tabby cat, and a trio of gardeners carefully sweeping dew off the bowling green in preparation for the day’s sporting event. Falco contemplated this busy scene and the dark windows of a sleeping Great Smial opposite. He chatted to the gaffers and discovered that they spent considerable time and effort weeding, trimming and rollering this lawn which was a great favourite of the Took clan. Their everlasting bane were the children, who invariably ran across it as a shortcut and left marks and depressions which had to be rollered out. Falco enquired where this lawn roller might be and learned that they kept a fine tool scaul artistically concealed behind that there shrubbery.
Falco returned to the other hobbits for breakfast grinning madly but had to wait for a quieter moment to explain his discoveries. They resolved to sneak into the toolsheds and hoped that the competition would act as a diversion and work in their favour for this. Surely no-one could hear anything over the noise of the crowd or be paying any attention to movement in the shrubberies? Mungo chose not to risk any damage to his reputation with his wedding coming up; he opted to establish an alibi by escorting Miss Angelica around the festivities instead. Unusually Marigold also pleaded off, citing a ‘slight headache’. The group fretted about creating a replacement tube for whatever they found and took another long look at the weathercock pole, but then Gorboduc very sensibly pointed out that the telescope would most likely be hidden inside a tube. They probably wouldn’t have to take the whole thing.
In ones and twos the group stealthily assembled at the scauls behind the shrubbery. These were fastened but not locked so they quickly located the correct shed where two lawn rollers were stashed in a dim corner. One was a small thing, suitable only for crushing worm casts. The other was a huge, four-hobbit item with double handles and elaborate iron fretwork on each end of a big cylinder: a grease-covered axle could be seen inside. Halfred and Falco kept watch. Tobold set to work and quickly had the whole thing in pieces. The axle was hollow and he extracted a long, cloth wrapped bundle from inside. Outside some friendly villagers wandered past and very helpfully showed Halfred back to the competition green as he was obviously lost. Inside, Tobold reassembled the big roller, but not before Isenbold had slipped a few coins into the axle to make a rattling noise whenever it was used.
They reconvened back at the weathercock, well away from prying eyes. Inside the plain sailcloth was a very fine brass and oak telescope, obviously well used. Under the caps at each end were clear polished lenses. On examination they saw that tiny screw clamps held its sections in place at a very fixed length. These were stiff with age but could be removed with a bit of fettling. They realised that the screws fixed its focal distance which, by scanning about, they discovered was a long way away indeed: over the hills and far away. They debated where Grandpa Otto intended them to stand and recollected that their previous clue had pointed to Camley village, which they had not yet visited. They debated their next moves and decided to head for Pincup village next, but not til the morrow after a hearty breakfast or two. They returned to the Jack in the Green to find Mungo and Miss Angelica, and a recovered Marigold joined them for the evening.
On day six they replenished their food supplies and set off with their pack pony back along the Stock Road with the vague intention of finding this missing road. The day was warm and dry with skylarks trilling and warbling all around them. They noticed an increasing number of folk heading westwards for Midsummer and there were many prosperous farms to either side. After a few hours Isenbold noticed a herd of wild deer cutting across the fields heading towards a copse. He snap shot an arrow and brought down a deer which they field dressed by the side of the road. It was far too much to eat themselves so they took it up to the nearest farm, Brumbledown Smial, to barter for luncheon. Goodwife Beryl Potts was charmed by their courtesy and was minded to make up a batch o’ venison pies today. She exchanged for some fresh-baked bread, new-churned butter and a selection of her finest conserves. With a little haggling they even gained a round of soft cheese which made a pleasant change from the Hackenbottom Blue.
Their afternoon progress was a little slower in the heat of the sun but by early evening they reached a part of the Yale where Gorboduc reckoned that they should turn south. This close, there appeared to be no sign of any missing road. It was all very densely farmed and settled and that tavern just visible a league further on looked tempting. Nonetheless they headed for the nearest farmhouse to their south, in the hope of at least getting permission to camp for the night. Falco knocked on the door but immediately enquired as to an old road south which had the farmer well baffled. “No roads past ‘ere. None ‘ereabouts an we be livin’ ‘ere time out o’ mind. Ye be lost ye be.” Mungo prodded talk back around to getting a place to stay and Farmer Tizard allowed that their large party could stay in his sheep shelter (swept clean, as the flock had gone up into hills for the season). He showed them to the farm’s well and even found a bit of hay for their pony. They spent a peaceful night under shimmering stars.
In the morning they took the opportunity to do a little exploring around the farmer’s fields. A very slight coincidence might have been seen in the alignment of the farm’s field gates, so after breakfast they decide to follow these southwards and up into the Green Hills, where they happened upon an old droving holloway which might be slightly wider and flatter than normal. When they reached the edges of the woods Isenbold spotted a pair of game birds breaking cover and stealthed away to bring his bow to bear on their flight ― but instantly dropped it again as he sighted down an elderly bigfolk man. This scruffy old chap was dressed in brown rags and appeared to be muttering to himself, he startled visibly when an inquisitive Isenbold suddenly appeared to apologise for nearly shooting him.
“Oh yes! Quite! And who are you?” the raggedy man enquired.
“Isenbold Hackenbottom, err, um, Underbridge. Yes. Underbridge!”
“Hackenbottom, now where have I heard that? I see you’ve met my friends. What are you doing here?”
And with that they got to chatting about the lost road and Radagast (for it was he) scampered back to show their group the route of the old Kingsway, as he called it. They invited him to join their luncheon and he happily offered some wine “from the kings’ vineyards” in return. They had many questions but he didn’t know (or much care) why the road was in disuse. He guessed that hobbits might not be good at road repair and likely didn’t want the vineyards disturbed. He had just come from Pincup himself “it means small goblet you know?” As they shared their meal several hobbits noticed that the strange fellow was vegetarian. The others were bemused by mice in his pockets. Soon enough he heard his friends calling him from inside the woods and had to go but assured the hobbits they’d get to Pincup on the road. They invited him to Kings Worthy and he was surprised to learn that it was now a town, not a royal vegetable plot. As he trotted off Halfred mused that hobbits might not have been invited to the Shire but just took it over.
They follow the way he vaguely pointed and hiked through open grasslands until they came down the southern slopes of Green Hill country into Pincup village, home to a handful of hobbit families that enjoyed quiet lives in relative isolation. Most lived in modest hobbit-holes among sunny hillsides where the sheltered, south-facing slopes were home to a number of vineyards. This was the source of the Old Winyards wine which the hobbits had enjoyed with Bilbo, as they discovered when they halted at a small cottage tavern called The Merry Cellar for dinner. Their hosts were not really set up for non-locals and were concerned that their unexpected guests might be woefully lost. After much reassurance and some generous purchases of extra bottles, a bit of polite persuasion on Gorboduc’s part meant that rooms were set up for them right at the back of the tavern just before its tunnels became extensive wine cellars. The hobbits slept well that night deep underground.
The next morning their pack pony was loaded up and the party made an early start on the wide, green road down to Longbottom. The land quickly flattened out and appeared to have good soil; there were frequent farms interspersed with patches of woodland but it was much less intensively settled than the Yale. Mostly though, these northern hobbits registered it all as very, very flat. Mungo was nominally on watch but instead daydreamed about his wedding. On their long, hot hike down the road they didn’t notice anything surprising at all. The monotony was finally broken in late afternoon when they caught up with a farmer scratching his head over a broken axle on his cart. Our weary travellers leapt to help out and in no time had the cart on its side. Both Tobold and Miss Angelica got the axle fettled enough to reach Longbottom, and a grateful Farmer Hornwood offered them all a lift into town.
Longbottom town was a bustling market of prosperous hobbits serving many local pipeweed farms. They also dealt with bigfolk merchants who visited from far and wide to purchase their famous products: it was here that the three most popular brands of pipe-weed came from: ‘Longbottom Leaf’, ‘Old Toby’, and ‘Southern Star’. As the cart trundled into town the visiting hobbits noticed many drying sheds and warehouses on the outskirts, and a distinctive, redolent aroma that had settled over the entire area. ‘Pops’ Hornwood dropped everyone off at The Smokehouse Inn which was, he claimed, “the best in town: they can cure anyone!” and stood them the first round of beer: a full-flavoured black brew of bittersweet flavours that carried through to a dry finish. They secured rooms for the night and happily tucked into a supper of roast goose.
Next morning was a late start as everyone was weary. Halfred and Isenbold’s first stop before breakfast was the Post Office to pen a polite note to their Longbottom uncle and aunt and warn them that they were on their way. Since it was a local delivery they expected it to be delivered by second breakfast and anticipated a reply by elevenses, or perhaps lunchtime. Tobold and Angelica wandered off together to find a good bakery. The others went shopping, mostly for pipeweed packets. Gorboduc also discovered a most excellent pipe carver and purchased some gifts. Back at The Smokehouse for lunch, everyone tucked into cold cuts of goose, still ignoring the fresh trout and duck on offer. It might be revenge.
A well-dressed bigfolk merchant spotted Halfred through the crowd and came over to greet him with delight. “Well met once again! What have you got for me then?” Halfred had no recollection of this deal and stalled desperately until he gathered that that he had promised to introduce rich customers to this man in return for coloured silks. He stalled a bit more, claiming that the client list was in his other frock coat, and the other hobbits came to his rescue to assure Master Bernard Colwater that all would be revealed at the Midyear Free Fair. After all, “the Hackenbottom name is well known and trusted.” The local drinkers were happy to endorse this once they had established, to their satisfaction, that the Hackenbottoms were indeed related to the Hagenbothams of nearby Meadowlark Dell. The Postie arrived with Uncle Carl’s invitation and Master Bernard escaped before longfather trees could be explained in more detail.
The hobbits set out for Meadowlark Dell that afternoon but a wrong turn at a clump of elms. This left them exposed in open countryside when a flock of dark birds flew up from the direction of Sarn Ford and wheeled overhead. The hobbits hid as best they could. The crow-like creatures had a nerve-wracking cry of pure anxiety and called to each other in long, complicated sounds. The hobbits felt that they could almost understand what was being said. Eventually the mob winged their way back south and the travellers re emerged. They eventually found their way to Meadowlark by tea-time, just as Uncle Carl and Aunt Saph were starting to get worried. Cousins Rose and Goody took their packs up to their rooms while everyone got a tour of the farm and a present of the farm’s very own dried pipeweed: ‘Hagen Hemp’. This led to a discussion of the family’s variation on the old surname which was due, they discovered, to the proximity of the Took clan. Carl was disturbed to hear about the crow incident, or crebain as he called them, and promised to mention it to the local bounders.
They spent a leisurely day with the family helping out with the weed harvest, inspecting the local undershot watermill and wandering the water meadows. Aunt Sapphire and Marigold disappeared into the laundry for a long private chat. The group debated a trek down to Sarn Ford but it was a long way, judging from their map, and Uncle Carl assured them that there was nothing there, just a dismal place where scruffy bandits were sometimes seen. The Hagenbothams fed everyone well, wished Marigold good luck and sent them on their way the next day with many extra provisions. Their pack pony was starting to look a bit burdened.
That evening they reached the village of Sparrow’s Rest where Longbottom Road joined the Causeway. Like most travellers they stopped at the Feather Nest Inn, a welcome sight to the weary eyes of every travelling pipe-weed merchant. The inn used to be a small watchtower, they discovered, and took its name from the many birds nesting under its eaves. By all accounts there’s no better serving of strawberries and cream anywhere in the Shire, nor a more diversified source for gossip. Sparrow’s Rest appeared to be competing for a ‘best kept village’ title with window boxes and hanging baskets of flowers in full bloom everywhere. Even the kerbstones were whitewashed! Tobold was inspired to buy a bouquet of flowers for Miss Angelica, which she accepted with pleasure. Somewhere nearby resided the elusive Estella, but without Marroc present no-one was minded to pay a call.
The next day’s travel brought them to Whitwell, a small community known for its chicken farmers and its eggs; many members of its flocks found their end at tables across the Shire. In spite of its humble appearance, they noticed that Whitwell served as a hub of travel in Tookland, with pipe-weed coming up from the farms of Longbottom, travellers going south from Waymeet, and Tooks arriving endlessly from Tuckborough via Took Bank. Our visitors sampled the finest roast chicken at a table at the Fairest Fowl Inn, which sat right upon the crossroads at the heart of Whitwell. The number of travellers on the road was noticeably increasing as Mid Year approached. Gossip once again mentioned a veritable army of dwarves at the Fairground.
The hobbits set out again the following day and reached Waymeet by lunchtime. It was extremely busy and Angelica started to look a bit alarmed at the crowds of people. They decided to take quick refreshments at The Walking Party Tavern and push on to Michel Delving. They arrived at twilight only to discover the town equally crowded with no hope of getting rooms at any of the inns or guesting houses. Over a glass of red damson ale in The Swan they decided to camp on the outskirts of town and scout out a better site on the Free Fair hill in the morning.
Two weeks after they first set out, our intrepid North Farthing hobbits finally arrived at the grounds of the Free Fair on the White Downs west of Michel Delving. With still a week to go before the official opening, vendors were still setting up their stalls. Gorboduc selected a quiet area well away from the central hubbub. Over the next few days Tobold and Angelica roped off pitches and avenues for their ‘neighbourhood’ while Halfred pondered the problems of sanitation at the top of a chalk plateau with neither wells nor ditches. Isenbold and Falco set about digging generous latrines and soakaways while Gorboduc and Halfred and the pack pony ferried a dozen water butts up from the town pump. Mungo rigged Marigold’s colourful silk scarves to the top of his 10’ pole to act as a visible rainbow flag in case anyone was lost. Tobold arranged a central cookpit for all and added a paddock at the back of the enclosure with hay and shelter for their hardworking pony.
Towards the end of the week the fairground started to get busy. Gorboduc decided to take Miss Angelica (and Tobold) around the field so she could get used to the noise and maybe meet a dwarf or two. Following rumours to the dwarven contingent they quickly discovered that gossip about ‘Bilbo’s Army’ may have had cause. An especially large Dwarven quarter had been set up next to the town. It was really more of a fortified encampment complete with embankments, timber walls, stout gates and patrolling warriors who clearly had no interest in trade stalls. A large new hall could be glimpsed inside, and some watchtowers were under construction. Bilbo Baggins was visible scurrying about trying to mollify crowds of curious and concerned hobbits who were being turned away at the gate. The dwarves on guard were not the shabby tinkers that the Shire was used to, but affluent fellows in elaborate armour.
Back at camp Master Bernard Colwater rolled up with his carts and servants, having spotted his rainbow silk samples flying from the flagpole. He congratulated Halfred on the thoughtful layout provided and moved straight in with his sales marquee in prime position. He clearly expected the hobbits to keep him supplied with essentials while he dealt with Halfred’s non-existent customers. As the merchant of Tharbad set out his displays of wine, silk, cashmere, perfumes, pearls, carved jade and other expensive mathoms, even Marigold began to look worried. Mungo unsystematically searched for any sign of the Baxter family but, alas, his fiancée had not yet arrived. He painted a careen sign over the rainbow flag to act as a distinctive signal. Other hobbit families set up nearby and adopted their enclosure, latrine and avenue system as a most sensible arrangement.
The first day of Lithe dawned. At a suitable time after second breakfast an official procession wound its way out of town and up to the Free Fair with much tooting of trumpets and thumping of drums. Atop the main stage Mayor Cotman Bunce gave a relatively short speech of welcome and declared the Free Fair open with a flourish of traditional bun throwing. There was much cheering. Bilbo took to the stage to explain about the dwarves and the smithying trials (to polite applause) and introduce his honoured guests: Bifur, Bofur, Dori, Nori and Gloin – all looking rich and resplendent. Gorboduc noticed their friends Bufin and Bufog on duty further back. The hobbits took a stroll around the traders and said hello to several familiar faces: Olaf Lange, Billy Banks of Bree, Blanco Bracegirdle and Posco Puddifoot. Plus a very great many new traders from all across the Shire and beyond.
By lunchtime the fairground contests had begun with various food and drink prizes. Bufin and Bufog located them and demanded the best ales. Mungo helped out Master Bernard for the afternoon. Isenbold flunked his wrestling match. In the Stavin’ competition Gorboduc overdid his attack and knocked his opponent out, while Isenbold achieved an honourable draw. In the archery Isenbold won the first round before being eliminated in the second. Meanwhile it was time for the first smithying trial. Tobold and Angelica reported to the forges in Michel Delving which Bilbo had hired for the event. Here they were introduced to the other contestants: Odo Knotwise, Griff Mugwort, Beren Whitfoot, Marmaduc Fleet, Carl Bolger, and Bruno Boffin (two from each farthing). Their very first task was to shoe feisty battle goats. An absurd idea which Angelica struggled to complete although she had no problem handling the animal, unlike most of her competitors. Tobold shrugged and managed competently. They were dismissed for the rest of the day while the judges inspected their work.
Around the campfire that evening Gorboduc took the time to give a pep talk to Miss Angelica which greatly enheartened her. Master Bernard expressed displeasure to Halfred at the quality of clients visiting his emporium thus far. Isenbold told Halfred where Olaf Lange and his wife Áinni could be found. And Mungo snuck off to the main stage to compete in the Riddle Contest where his topic of ‘Equality in the Shire’ was a resounding comic success. Although the topic may have been inspired by irritation at the Tooks’ ridiculous knighting ceremony, its sentiments were soon brought to the attention of his future in-laws; the Baxter family. Falco ensured that Bufin and Bufog completed their ale assessment and got back to the dwarf encampment in time for watch duty.
Next day was Midyear! Isenbold set off into the fair to locate the best cheesemakers but became thoroughly distracted. Halfred and Marigold more successfully found the Lange family and set about completing the long list of apothecary purchases which Dame Hatilde Oldbuck had sent them to find. The Baxter family turned up at the hobbits’ campsite, much to Mungo’s delight, and he successfully diverted Madam Lavender with an introduction to Master Bernard and his wares. The Tharbad merchant quickly learned that silk wedding dresses were at stake and adjusted his attitude immediately. Falco wandered down to Michel Delving and lurked around the forge area but learned little about the next trial other than the absence of any livestock.
Tobold and Angelica reported in for the second day’s trial, which was to choose some scrap metal from the heap in the yard and create a good hunting knife from it. A confident Angelica selected a nice piece of steel and crafted a very good blade, almost as good as Carl Bolger’s. Tobold discovered that he had selected some bad brittle iron which he had to work through a fining forge before working and folding it. He finished later than the others but with the finest blade, in his opinion. They got back to camp tired and hungry. Over dinner around the campfire (with Lily) the hobbits discussed what they should do for the evening. The event on the main stage was the music contest which would normally be a highlight, but without Marroc or Edgar no-one had any enthusiasm for the event. Suddenly Mungo remembered that there was something very important which they meant to tell a senior dwarf.
Leaving the hobbit lasses to discuss wedding deliveries with Bernard, the lads snuck off to the dwarven encampment. They reckoned that most hobbits, but especially Bilbo, would be away at the music competition. They made their way by quiet back routes to the encampment gate and politely asked to speak to their friends Bufin and Bufog. They’re told to wait there. After a bit Bufog wandered out the gate chewing a chicken leg: he looked mildly curious. Mindful of the listening guards, Mungo said only, “We’ve found something. We think it might be important to the dwarves but it needs to be kept secret. We need to tell somebody senior. Can you introduce us?”
“Huh, probably. Will my dad be senior enough?”
As they knew his dad was Bifur, they agreed. Bufog passed them through the gate and led them to an outer section of the fortification where Bufin and Bifur were housed and were eating supper. The group noticed that they were the only hobbits inside the gates and were being watched from all directions. Bufog formally introduced them to Bifur and they got given a courtesy glass of mead. Tobold started by recounting their spider battle on the moors last winter. This tale did not impress their audience much but Halfred, observing carefully, realised that Bifur and Bofur were honour guards to somebody much more senior who was in the inner main hall. They needed to decide how much to say to get passed to their leader. Mungo took over the tale, describing their discovery of an ancient tomb with enough detail to establish veracity, but he withheld the name and inscription on the tomb. Bifur looked disturbed. Gorboduc then finished with a very persuasive case to convey their request for audience with someone who could make some decision on this.
Bifur told them all to wait there, and set Bufin and Bufog to look after them so that no dwarf wandering past could take offense at their presence. He disappeared into the main hall and was gone for quite a while. The stars moved on. Things quietened down outside. He came back with very definite instructions. “You are permitted into the main hall. You may speak your piece. You may or may not get a reply. I advise you to be open and very courteous. There are a lot of folk who are prepared to be very upset with you.” They got escorted by a score of armoured dwarves to the main hall which looked like it had been a feasting and sleeping area until very recently. Most of the debris had been tidied away. There was a screen at the far side of a central fire. It was not easy to see beyond the screen but there were a number of shapes there. Bifur indicated the shadowy figures, “tell them more than you told me.”
Bowing deeply, Falco started by introducing everybody using language both courteous and very elaborate. Mungo summarised their spider skirmish, explained the nature of their limestone ‘pot’ on the moors and what they discovered at the bottom of it – the amber room, the tomb and the inscription. Falco added practical details of their trek through the snow, the precise location and the bearing details from their dwarven compass. Tobold pointed out that they resealed the tomb untouched and kept it all secret; not even Bilbo knew about this. He emphasised its importance and how very puzzling it was to find such a thing in the Shire. Halfred wasn’t getting much feedback from the shadows behind the screen, but suddenly realised that the screen itself was the clue: there was a female leader behind it. Gorboduc voiced their request, which was simply to ask for the dwarves to take care of the tomb’s repair and security. He emphasised that their intentions were purely honourable. Finally, Isenbold concluded with an epic tale of their spider battle and their role as the meanest, fiercest hobbits in the farthing and did indeed manage to impress. Not a single dwarf was permitted to laugh at them.
At a signal the screen was taken down and the dwarven leader spoke to them face to face. The beautiful Queen Dis was on her way to visit the tombs of her sons and brother at the Lonely Mountain. She thanked them and explained that she will become the last of her Line, but one of the very first was Queen Dethra who led their people out of the Drowned Lands. The tomb was very important to her people. Dis undertook to get the tomb repaired and hidden once again. She named the hobbits ‘Dwarf Friends’ and told them that they could call upon her people for aid independently from Bilbo; they had Honour in their own right. The hobbits trekked back to camp slightly awed and deeply relieved not to have mucked up.
The second day of Lithe dawned and the last day of the Free Fair. Angelica and Tobold reported to the forges for their final trial which was to be an all day affair. Their task was to build a mechanical device of their own design: to plan it out, explain it to the judges, scavenge and build the necessary parts, and construct the final item for testing. More than one competitor flailed around for ideas at this open specification, but some seemed to have a firm idea already. Angelica doodled a few different things before settling on “an ornamental seed distributer” while Tobold eventually settled on an ambitious water powered lift which required a robust valve. The rest of the group tried to distract themselves with shopping but by late afternoon everyone had gathered back to see what had happened. A keen-eyed Tobold had pulled some cylinders from the scrap pile which had allowed him to make some very effective hacks later in his build. It turned out that most of them had built some sort of improvement on the plough, Griff Mugwort was especially pleased with his which he thought might revolutionise farming in the Shire! Marmaduc Fleet made a fountain that mostly worked. Angelica’s wire-flying seed measurer in the shape of a bird was interesting and adjustable, and Tobold’s water-powered lifting device would be useful for heavy objects. Bruno Boffin had built a time-keeping device. The hobbit elders didn’t much see the point of it but the dwarven judges looked very impressed.
The winners of the competition were announced at the official closing ceremony of the Free Fair. Of the three apprenticeships available, the first was for Tobold, the second was for Bruno Boffin, and the third went to Angelica Swayle. So North Farthing got two of the three places available. There was some grumbling but Bilbo was unmoved as no allocation had previously been agreed. Afterwards Bilbo introduced them to the three judges: Drik, Son of Glum, the Master Cutler; Bifur son of Bilad, the Master Engineer; Veig, son of Vidar, the Master Clockmaker. Obviously Vieg insisted on taking on Bruno Boffin as his apprentice. Drik was keener on taking Angelica after her scrap heap knife trial. Which left Tobold with Bifur as his new Master, a result which pleased Bifur no end because he had been very careful to avoid any hint of favouritism. So Bufin and Bufog became Tobold’s forge brothers. The three hobbits were instructed to put their affairs in order and to be ready to follow their masters on Vahna’s Day in the Spring of 1346, by Shire reckoning.
